I have been a couples therapist for the past twenty-six years. I am more or less familiar with all of the existing approaches to couples therapy. I have also taught and supervised other therapists for many years
You can imagine that in my situation, when I would require help with my own marriage, that I would not go to just any therapist. I am very critical and would only go to the very best and so set out to find the best on whom we could truly rely. We found Daniel Winston – who is without any doubt one of the very best.
Daniel is wise, personable, sensitive, and straight. He is not afraid to ask the most difficult, penetrating, and important questions. And he does so with a good smile on his face, light in his eyes, and from a place of tremendous respect. He is sharp as a razor, challenging, and thought-provoking.
When my wife and I need a marital therapist, we do not hesitate – we drive three hours each way in order to meet Daniel for a three-hour meeting which gives us ample food for thought, introspection, and action for many weeks to come.
If you are seeking to make a profound shift in your relationship, Daniel is the therapist for you and we recommend him most wholeheartedly.
Though we had been blessed with three healthy kids and had managed to stay not divorced for the better part of 8 years, our marriage had serious foundation level issues. Our communication was often strained and ineffective, we seemed to only see the differences between us, and our intimacy was somewhere between poor and nonexistent.
After having seen 3 or 4 therapists both as individuals and as couples, I wasn’t so much giving up on marriage, but I was planning on a life without happiness and love from my spouse. And I’m sure that my wife felt the same. We had come into a real state of gridlock.
Eventually we found our way to sessions with Daniel Winston and we were both totally blown away.
Anyone who’s been to therapy knows that you sit with someone who does his/her best to play referee for an hour or so and then as you leave he tells you to go referee each other or yourselves until next week’s session when he/she can resume their position of power over your marriage. But Daniel doesn’t do that at all.
Using the approach he learned from Dr. David Schnarch, Daniel allows near endless time (sessions are 2-3 hours long) and he does very little talking. He guides the conversation and can and will take one spouse or the other to task if need be, but mainly he creates an atmosphere in which the marriage itself and the couple inside of it can become the “people making machine” it was intended to be.
I recommend Daniel Winston with only one caveat: he is essentially only holding a mirror up to you and your spouse. His therapy isn’t for the faint of heart. But then again, neither is marriage.
To the bravest, straightest, softest, and most challenging therapist I know:
Daniel – it is difficult to find the words to describe the therapy I experienced and will yet experience with you. With your noble and respectful manner, you ask questions that awaken deep introspection. The way in which you approach me causes me to become curious about my life and to perceive and think about my past patterns – patterns which emerge in therapy as if they were just waiting for me to discover and relate to them. For many long days – and weeks – after our meetings, I find myself reflecting on a word, insight, or new perspective that requires my attention. A small change, then another, and things already look different. You are truly worth every shekel and kilometer it takes to get to you!
Thank you for who you are. It is my great privilege to be your client. I learn so much from you – as a couples therapist myself, as a woman, as Amittai’s wife, and as a person. Yaasher Koach and may the G-d that granted you such great ability and truth-seeking continue to guard you
I am happy to be a part of your journey.
Pirkei Avos says that if you learned much Torah, don’t think well of yourself because it was for this that you were created. At first I thought it might be haughty to include these letters. Then I concluded that truly it would be haughty not to include them. I feel that I was given an important gift – and to not do my utmost to share it with my fellow travelers who are in need off it would be truly arrogant.
It is my understanding that “Healers” do not do the actual healing but, rather, they should be seeking to enable the conditions that maximize innate capacities for self-healing and growth. Although my clients report great satisfaction, it is very clear to me that my role is that of a catalyst. These and other success stories truly belong solely to the hard working couples who have the courage to come to my office, and come back for more!